Key Monastery in Spiti
The Longing of God for God
This might not be the time
to profess my unending love,
yet now is the perfect occasion
to say that this surging intensity
that is stirring in and through us,
that is moving so tenderly as us,
goes all the way to the Source,
to the origin of the universe,
to the birthplace of angels,
to the cradle of our souls,
and carries us all the way
to the totally healed world
that is enlightened creation.
Breaking beneath paradoxes,
stripped down to the essential,
pulled toward the Supreme Sun,
my body bows down to emotions
that seem paradoxical to describe:
the feeling of being close and far,
the flavor of sadness within joy,
the loneliness in togetherness,
the devastation in fulfillment,
the unexpected farewell kiss
that finishes much too soon.
These are the contradictions
and the bittersweet burnings
of the longing of God for God.
Observing the monsoon rains,
I meditate upon the perfection
and the wisdom in all situations.
Even my loneliness is for the best.
Ganga roars by the German Bakery
where we ordered our first espressos
and where I now sit, dry, on the balcony.
You are here even as you are not here.
You sit silently next to me as I drown
in a deluge of hopes and memories.
You witness all as I thrash and sink
below the surface of my prior self.
The person I was has died and now
the Divine tenants this vehicle of love.
How else could these poems burst forth
and outbloom all other domains of my life,
emptying the emptiness, my former solitude,
like a sensual eruption in the Valley of Flowers?
God is occupying this bodymind to such a degree
to savor the gifts and sacred pleasures of aliveness.
The Beloved insists on unfurling every petal of Truth
and encountering the fierce passions of the heart.
Upon falling totally into Love, I surrendered all
of my petty objections to the Supreme Will
and became a subtly tuned instrument
for exploring the devotional longing
of the One who pines completely,
most passionately, and forever.
The Beloved is free to use me,
to exhaust me, to consume me.
She moves through me in a lucid
dream of whirling and of worlding.
This realm that we are co-creating,
co-envisioning, and co-conceiving
is faithfully malleable to our love.
Joined in the work of awakening
and restoring the Earth garden,
our shared intention raises all
until nature returns to health.
Collaborating on the mission
of wisely wielding our power
to put an end to joylessness,
this yearning of God for God
supplies the immense voltage
needed for the metamorphosis.
The longing impels us to progress
and plants seeds for a healed future
in which everyone dwells entirely alive
in a land that is shaped entirely by Love.
This poem is part of a collection titled The Longing of God for God.
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