Chicham Bridge, in Spiti Valley, is the highest bridge in Asia.
Perchance to Leap
If only you knew
how much love
is waiting here
to shower you.
If only you saw
my sacred vow
made for keeps
by the holy river.
That day I jumped,
headlong, headfirst,
believing that it might
be the last act of my life.
I leapt into the unknown,
into the rushing waters
and the mercy of God.
I dove into a devotion
that I had not learned
or observed in others.
I slipped into currents
that swept me beyond
the familiar landscapes.
I dropped into the abyss
time and time again when
you drew closer only to pull
back seemingly beyond reach.
I cannonballed into the unknown
and the fearful parts of me died.
What I believed I was dissolved,
revealing the holy opportunity
to be remade for matrimony,
to explore how two are one,
to taste the high happiness.
Yet when I surfaced in form,
the new life had not arrived.
The prophetic dreams of you
remained buried in the future.
So I succumbed and sank down
further into murk and obscurity.
Drowned in deep silence I found
that each plunge into the depths
of desperation, sorrow, and grief,
and every descent into heartbreak,
only strengthened my resolve to live,
to become one who can fully love you,
and to be the devotee who catches you
when the swift currents carry you to me,
when the high emotions settle into peace,
and when you are ready, perchance to leap.
This poem is part of a collection titled The Longing of God for God.
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